What Should My Title Be?

I’m not sure I should be writing this.

I'm not sure what I should say.

Should it rhyme?

Or shouldn’t it?

Truth be told

Even though I'm old

Enough to live alone

My parents should have known

That I cannot make a choice

As if I haven’t got a voice

To make a decision

Needs an immense amount of precision.

I'm a middle child

So my opinions are mild

I can’t choose a thing

Not even a ring-

Tone for my phone

Or when to go home

Chicken or beef?

Above or beneath?

What should I wear?

How shall I do my hair?

After a while

You no longer smile

When I cannot pick

And the clock starts to tick

You give up on waiting

Your mouth is salivating

Call over the waiter

“She’ll order later.”

But I cannot change my ways

Although it takes me days

To make up my mind

I am no way inclined

To speed up my thoughts

Since I was always taught

That every choice of mine

Should take me some time

To make sure I can see

What works best for me.

So if you don't mind

Although I am behind

This is the way I am

I’ll go as fast as I can

But when all is said and done

I'm not the number one

I am the number three

As central as can be

And it is my right

To win this one fight

So give me some time

I'm sure you’ll be fine.

On this matter lets close the lid

‘cause I'm just the middle kid.  

LISTEN: Choices by The Hoosiers

A Parent's Guide to Family Holidays

HOLIDAYS: The ultimate opportunity for family bonding time. Everyone is in a good mood, the weather is great, the itinerary has been finalised, leaving all the time in the world for your family to get along and do things together.

THE AIM: Be it a short break, or a full on two week holiday, your only mission is to make sure your children behave and don’t make a public scene which will black-list your family name in every hotel in the area.

THE METHOD: Use the middle child to resolve all disputes. If they resist, re-assure them that their sacrifice is for the good of the family as a whole and that their responsibility is very much acknowledged.

Here are a few examples of problems that you may experience throughout your family vacation, and tips on how to solve them effectively and efficiently...

SCENARIO 1:

The mini-van has pulled up outside the house, and the immense amount of suitcases has caused an over-flow of luggage into the back row of the van. Someone must sit there. The oldest child will ‘shot-gun’ a seat up front. The youngest must sit in a safe seat where nothing can potentially fall on them.

THE SOLUTION:

Place the middle child in that almost dangerous seat, urging them that there is no time for a dispute as you are already late and really don’t want to miss the flight. Do not forget to buckle them in.

SCENARIO 2:

The two youngest siblings do not get along well enough to sit next to each-other on a flight longer than an hour. The two oldest siblings claim they have homework to do over the holiday and require peace and quiet to do their work on the flight so that they can “bond” with the family when you actually arrive at your destination. As parents, you desperately want to sleep, eat peanuts and watch movies on the plane. And nothing else.

THE SOLUTION:

The middle child is naturally NOT an over-achiever and therefore does not feel the pressures of homework like the older ones. In order to kill two birds with one stone, ensuring the little ones are separated and you, as parents, get to sit alone, place the middle child in the middle seat between your two youngest children. Although they may feel a little discomfort in that they have nowhere to rest their head for the duration of the flight, it will be worth it once you arrive.

TIP:

This solution works for car rides as well as planes. Keep the peace by keeping the middle child in the middle. LITERALLY.

SCENARIO 3:

Once you arrive at your hotel, all family members are assigned rooms. A family of seven for example, would generally take three rooms: one for you, one for two children and one for the other three. Your oldest and fourth children get along extremely well. They like the same music; they watch the same TV shows... They should share a room as it will be a peaceful experience. Furthermore, your second and youngest children also share the same living styles. The middle child must go somewhere; he/ she are easily adaptable and can technically go to either room. However, whichever room has three people in will require the youngest to sleep on the sofa-bed. This makes having a three person room very 

undesirable...

THE SOLUTION:

In such a case, a solution can be difficult. Here are a few methods to try in the case that such a situation arises:  

• Flip for the middle child – this is the simplest and quickest method. Be aware, your children may make you play until ‘best out of 3'.
•   Have the two rooms compete for the two person room. This will start the family bonding off with a fun and competitive twist. Competition is always encouraged for healthy growth in children. 
• As a compromise to both rooms, have the middle child switch back and forth from one room to another each night.
•  Place the middle child in either room, but shaft them with the sofa bed. Once again, any resistance to this can be soothed with the reassurance that it is for the sake of the family.

It can be seen that the middle child is arguably the most useful child to have when on a family trip. Their natural character traits as the middle child make them good mediators, easily swayed and not overly stubborn. Hence, a great tool for burying family problems before they surface and ruin any holiday. 

BON VOYAGE!!!

Hand-Me-Down

When it comes to going shopping as a middle child, life is made easy. There is no need to make that awful trek to the shopping centre and have your mother force you to try things on for hours, opening the curtain in the changing room when you’re not ready, and calling your name when you take too long to change. No. Us middle children do not have to go any further than our sibling’s closet upstairs. No changing room, no schlepping bags, no tags that you forget to take off before you wear it, and the best thing of all.... one size fits all. Well, actually it’s more like “this size fits all”. Welcome to middle child shopping. Why buy new clothes when my sister’s clothes almost fit me?

Hand-me-downs, otherwise defined as discarded, used clothing passed along from one person to another, is common in the world of MCs. We get used to it after a while and eventually start looking forward to the seasonal turnover of our older sibling’s wardrobes. In this time, a large pile of clothing is brought to our rooms for us to sift through and take whatever we like. However, experience has taught me, that there is always going to be something in the pile that was there by mistake (and is obviously the best hand-me-down you ever got), and when the older sibling see’s you wearing it for the first time they realise that they still want it, and force you to give it up even though they didn’t seem to miss it from their closets until they saw you wearing it.

I must admit that there were occasions in which I was lucky enough to get a new dress. For some reason family celebrations meant my two older sisters and I had to wear matching dresses. Why? That I'm not so sure about, but if it meant me getting new clothes, I would suffer the giant pink flowers that were almost as big as my face, and the itchy petticoats that made the dress puff out wider than my arm’s width. At least everybody saw me as an individual...

LISTEN: Hand Me Down World by The Guess Who