Monday, April 11, 2011

SHOTGUN!

Siblings quarrel. It’s a fact. Every parent in the world has accepted it. And more often than not, they choose to take a back seat and let their kids sort it out by themselves.

There are many types of fights that have the potential to break out amongst siblings... Who gets to sit in the front seat of the car? Who gets to push the buttons inside and outside the elevator? Of course everyone knows that the inside button where you push the floor is of higher status, but when there are five children any push is better than none. Who gets to sit next to dad at the table? Who DOESN'T have to bring in the drinks at the meal? Who gets to choose the TV channel? Who gets the biggest bestest chair by the TV? Who DOESN'T have to answer the phone/ doorbell?

These are but a few of the thousands of trivial arguments that erupt as children grow up. Writing them out now, they seem so meaningless, but when you are eight years old this is the only thing that matters: getting one up on your siblings. What a feeling! You have won, and there is nothing they can do about it. Glory is yours. (Until the phone rings again).

As a kid, I often wondered how, in such a moment of great desperation, my parents could just turn a blind eye to the goings on between my siblings and me. Did they not understand the grave importance of me pushing floor five when we went to visit my grandparents? My dignity was on the line, and they looked away? How could they?

As a middle child, if you were not an instigator of any particular squabble, one way or another you managed to get involved. Siblings have a wondrous talent for getting the middle children in on fights and making it seem like the whole quarrel is resting on their shoulders. It is clear that the middle child cannot solve the argument by electing himself to “get the front seat”. But the question is who does the middle child favour? Who do they side with? The older sibling naturally holds more power since they rank higher in the pecking order. Having them on your side will definitely earn you benefits down the line, be it with hand-me-downs, or helping you out with homework, etc. However, there is something about the younger ones... they are favoured, they are loved, they are protected. Being on their side means when they get spoiled, you do too. So, does the middle child want to be seen as the third oldest, or the elder of the younger ones? This dilemma has baffled MCs for centuries. 

Thankfully, the woes of the middle child have subsided in the recent years due to the wondrous phenomenon that is “SHOTGUN”.  The shotgun rule became popular when I was in my teens. Different communities hold different rules regarding the implications of a shotgun, but in my family it can be used for negatives and positives. For example: “Shotgun front seat” would imply that I will sit in the front seat of the car. However when the doorbell rings and we all shout out “shotgun”, that implies we are not getting the door and whoever says it last is the loser who has to get up.

The universal acceptance of the “shotgun” means that in every debate there is a clear winner and an even clearer loser. And these ranks are indisputable according to the rules of shotgun. This further implies that middle children are no longer required to be the peace makers, or get caught between the endless bickering.
So, to the creators of the shotgun rule, whoever and wherever you may be, we, the middle children applaud you. We are eternally grateful! 

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